Teenagers & Tiaras
The Miss Bayside pageant gives Jessie a chance to hop back up on her "feminist" soapbox, Kelly a chance to sing really badly, Slater a chance to bust out some short-shorts, and Lisa a chance to get sassy. But it's Screech who takes the glory—and the crown—thanks to (of course) a Zack Morris scam.
RADD: Recappers Against Drunk Dummies
Well, I think it's safe to say that we all learned a Very Important Lesson from this episode: If you're going to lie, at least do it well. Oh, and also, don't leave your drunk friends stranded at a party when you're the only one who's sober and competent enough to drive everyone home. Tori.
Break me up before you go-go
When Zack and Slater fail to see eye to eye with their women about the merits of the ballet and Kelly's right to have a sugar daddy, it's trouble in paradise. The guys kick it solo for a while (which seems to suit Slater just fine), until they realize this means spending some quality time with Richie "No Life" Belding. So Zack and Slater hastily get their girls back, by apologizing and acting like a flaming homosexual, respectively.
Kelly of Arc, Junior-Prom Martyr
Finally! Everyone (sort of) ends up with the person they're supposed to be with. Kelly and Zack, Jessie and Slater, Lisa and Screech, Random Nerd Alan and some cake... Oh, and Kelly's dad gets laid off, ostensibly due to "world peace." Guess the SBTB writers forgot about that pesky little Gulf War. Not to mention the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And...oh, never mind. Accuracy is not the reason why we love this show.
"I don't think we need to be subliminable..."
This episode answers two very important questions. Namely, does Slater really have feelings for Zack? (Yes.) And is Beau Revere the dumbest fake celebrity name ever? (Yes.) Ah, if only the Republicans had thought to broadcast their "subliminable" messages through teen pop back in 2000--we could have avoided that whole nasty recount mess. (The downside: We might all be compelled to refer to W. as "a salt-and-pepper Tom Cruise.")
How am I supposed to...sing when your face is so freaking close to mine?
Zack and Kelly have a heart-wrenching breakup on "their" picnic table, during which Zack quotes lines from his hit song "Did We Ever Have a Chance." Meanwhile, Jessie gets up in Slater's face and makes a dying-cow noise that I guess we're supposed to assume is singing. Is it just me, or was she not this bad when she was in Hot Sundae? Must've been the caffeine pills.
Not-so-risky business
Yeah, it's just like Risky Business, only with an Elvis Statue instead of a Porsche. And Screech instead of Tom Cruise. And instead of hookers selling themselves to high-school boys, we get the gang selling Jessie off to Maxwell Nerdstrom. So in that respect, it's even better than the movie.
Clear skin! Beat Valley!
Even with the combination of a maroon face, a hideous orange dress and cowboy boots, Kelly manages to kick Muffin Sangria's ass in the race for homecoming queen. Poor Muffin. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
Jessie's about to lose control and I think I like it!
What we learned from this Very Special Saved by the Bell: Caffeine pills are dangerous. But not as dangerous as geometry. We also learned about the Pythagorean theorem and the finer points of "getting down and going for it." Come on, you know it's your favorite episode, too!
You better work, cover girl!
Zack breathes new life into the nerd-infested school store and manages to launch Kelly's career as an international fashion model. Elizabeth Berkley demonstrates how she got the lead in Showgirls.
